No More Mr. Nice Pie
  • About
  • Blog
  • Pies About Town
  • Pie-Ku
  • Recipes
    • Recipe Index

Snow Day

1/30/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
As I await the rumored Blizzard of Awes, I take inventory of my kitchen. The Weather Scolds are insisting there will be anywhere from 24 to 36 inches of the white stuff when the flakes are tallied. I am not at risk of starving to death, but there are a few glaring gaps in my baking pantry as well my snack stash. A Trader Joe’s run will do the trick except for one item. Joe and his merry band of tropical shirted colleagues only sell steel cut oats. Tasty when swimming in a bowl of milk with a splash of maple syrup, a toss of walnuts and dried cherries. But for baking purposes, I must turn to a trusted friend, a man after my old-fashioned non steel-cut heart. A man who smiles at me from the cereal aisle, all 42 ounces of him.

You may not have been paying attention, but The Quaker Oats Man has had some work done. If he has in fact, been a part of the same company since 1877, a tweaking is perfectly understandable. He’s a little bit trimmer, his hair-do a little bit shorter, his shoulders a touch broader. Still outfitted in Quaker garb, he remains my baking oats go-to guy. Mr. Quaker and I are minding our own business, simply trying to proceed through the self checkout line at the neighborhood grocery store. There is a voice instructing me, no, scolding me to scan the item, then place the item in the bag, which I do. I am then
reprimanded, told to place the item back on the belt and scan again. Jeez, I just did that, but I do it again. I’m beginning to get annoyed and trying not to mutter an expletive in the company of my pious oatmeal friend.

I scan, machine beeps, Mr. Quaker settles into the plastic bag. Machine beeps again. And again. Five, six, seven, eight! Scan. Beep. Bag. Repeat. I am having a flashback moment- Ken Malone’s Intro to Tap Class. At long last, a super employee from this super market arrives. She scans a mysterious card which has the power to release My Guy Oats from the evil clutches of the self-check. Setting 42 oz. of 100% whole grain goodness in the passenger seat, I proceed to Trader Joe’s to complete my pre-blizzard mission. Big mistake.

I admit, I’m part of the problem, flocking to stock up on non-essentials with the other minions. Don’t worry- I will not fight anyone for a loaf of bread or trample a young allergy-free child for a jar of peanut butter. Just be sure to leave me one container of whole milk, not skim, for my coffee, a 17.6 oz. block of dark chocolate and several bags of white cheddar corn puffs.

It is impossible to determine where one checkout line ends and one begins. I join the line snaking alongside the winter produce running parallel to the freezer cases. There appears to be a snag ahead of me and while I wait, I pluck a bag of frozen berry medley and place it in the wagon, just because. With predictions of 3 feet of snow, you can never have enough pie fixings.

It’s impossible not to overhear the excited children in front of me stating matter-of-factly that there will be an early dismissal tomorrow and a snow day the next. Where’s the fun in that?

Long before Snowmageddon and Polar Vortex, we went to sleep without knowing if school would be cancelled. Monumental decisions could not be made until the light of day. Too excited to sleep, I fought to stay awake, watching the illuminated dial of my Westclox alarm clock inching its way towards dawn.

Schools were listed alphabetically, and in later years by number. If you didn’t tune in to your radio at just the right time, you had to wait until the entire list was repeated. Or wait until out of a sound slumber, you would hear knocking on the bedroom door. My father would kindly wake us up to tell us to go back to sleep. Unless, in a cruel twist of fate, there was merely a delayed opening. On several occasions, when the school bus couldn’t navigate the hilly terrain of our neighborhood my father was all too happy to pile us into the station wagon and drive us to school. Thanks, Dad.

Some children I know (Blondilocks) believed that wearing your pajamas inside out would insure a day off from school. I will have to ask her if that really works. Because when Tuesday’s blizzard turned into what the weather folks ashamedly now refer to as the Fizzard, I felt cheated of my snow day. I want one more morning to sleep in late and enjoy another slice of jumble berry pie in its oatmeal crust.

No such luck. I'm back to work in time to bid January adieu and warm up that carpal tunnel just as February rolls in. Two weeks and counting, until they line up again, for the next holiday. It’s downright despicable.  I quake in anticipation.  
 


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013

    Ellen Gray

    Professional Pie-isms & Seasonal Sarcasm

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Artwork by Retsu Takahashi
© Ellen Gray All Rights Reserved 2014
  • About
  • Blog
  • Pies About Town
  • Pie-Ku
  • Recipes
    • Recipe Index