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PLUM DANDY

9/16/2022

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Plums, apples and the last of the strawberries were strutting their stuff at the farmers' market last weekend. The prime real estate, however, went to the prune plums and the strawberries who boasted their very own gingham draped tables and the highest price tags at $10/quart. Bypassing the berries and prune plums, I opted instead for a combo of red and purple heart shaped fruit. The beauty of plums in pie (besides their sweet/tart flavor) is that they require zero peeling and their pits are pretty easy going; more of a quick pluck with your thumb as opposed to the surgical procedure required by certain stone fruits. While waiting to pay, my peripheral vision focused on a father/whining son combo alongside me, casually munching on plums they had not so nonchalantly taken from the wicker display basket. They munched and chatted and whined, waiting to purchase a handful of apples. I wanted to turn around and inquire if the plums were "free with purchase" but it was suggested by my co-marketeer it would be best to avoid a plum ruckus. Gathering up my 4 pounds of treasures, the father/son were next to pay. The farmer behind the register asked, "Anything else?" The father was busy telling the child (who had mostly finished the plum) they would find a trash can "in a minute!" (whining in this case, was clearly genetic) to throw away the remaining uneaten plum. "No, just the apples..."

Stepping away I silently wished for the plum thief and his child a gaping hole in the bottom of their bag of Honeycrisps.

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    Professional Pie-isms & Seasonal Sarcasm

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