No More Mr. Nice Pie
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PIE-BYE,  DECEMBER

12/27/2018

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We have reached the tipping point of the holiday season where we teeter closer to January, a month sprinkled with far less tinsel and merriment. The New Year threatens to expose our recently expanded waistlines and our freshly elevated cholesterol levels, sending us scurrying back to the gym. We reacquaint ourselves with treadmills, stationary bikes, and replenished water bottles. For those of us revisiting frozen outdoor running surfaces, we will dodge the empty corrugated Amazon boxes that topple from curbside to sidewalk.
 
Bakers will scratch their heads, dreaming of ways to reconfigure calorie laden treats, aligning with our resolutions to eat healthy. Some will go as far as to swear off sugar, a concept I respect but cannot abide by. I will continue to follow the doctrine of my father who believed in the combination of moderation plus exercise. This translates into baking a 7” cheesecake instead of a 9” and divvying it up into a dozen slices.  Double crusted full size pies will be scaled down to single serving, open-faced chiffons featuring citrus. In a feeble attempt to climb back on the sensible eating bandwagon, I might add frothed skim milk to my morning coffee instead of whole. Seems far more likely that I’ll switch over to tea.
 
I am not sorry to see the holidays end, taking all of their retail insanity with them. My hope is  for a few lingering chestnuts and open fires to stave off the winter chill. Nice knowing you December, but I'm looking forward to the sass of January citrus and cashmere mittens on sale.   Should your New Year’s weekend force you to brave the mall or post office as you return all of your unwanted gifts, find consolation in the words of Charles Schultz, as eloquently spoken by Lucy Van Pelt.
 
Lucy Van Pelt: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.

Charlie Brown: What is it you want?

Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.
 
Chances are real estate will not be in the offing for most of us. Regardless, may your New Year be bright and your dessert plate over-filled with goodness, enjoyed amidst your favorite company.
 
 

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    Professional Pie-isms & Seasonal Sarcasm

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